How to respond to confidence destroyers

Faced with a negative, potential confidence-destroying situation how do you currently deal with it?

Well, throughout this module I'm going to TELL you exactly how to react and think in some of the most common situations that you may face that could potentially lead to your confidence being destroyed.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

It's not what people say to you that make you feel low in confidence; It's what you say to yourself after they've stopped talking that either makes or breaks your self esteem.

Every feeling is trying to tell you something, but don't dare believe your feeling!

Remember it has been made up by what you have been thinking and saying to yourself.

It will take time to learn them all, but build up gradually and you will start to build up your confidence.

Feeling: "I don't feel confident about the way I look"

ACTION: Improve your overall appearance. Would losing some weight make you feel great? If so DO IT! What clothes would your Confidence Role Model wear to feel good? Get a new haircut and treat yourself to some new clothes - it always makes you feel better and more confident. Buy something new each month and when you put it on, view it as your own confidence booster.

Feeling: "I'm afraid of that person - I'm never confident around him/her"

ACTION: Just remember, they go to the toilet the same as you and they have the same problems as you and I - they just don't show it! How would my Confidence Role Model deal with this person? What would they do? Don't worry about them, they're not worth it. Put them into perspective. Remember that confidence is about acting - they are just a better actor than you at the present time. Think of the things that you can do that they can't do - how would they feel if the roles were reversed? Yes, you've got it!

Feeling: "I'm afraid of the feedback and reaction I'm going to get when I complete this piece of work"

ACTION: Hey, as long as you've done everything to the best of your ability - what's the problem? And if you do make a mistake or two, so what? Just learn from them for next time. A person who never makes mistakes is not doing anything. Those people who moan and groan about things always seem to do nothing - you are one of the few that do rather than those who talk. There are no failures in life as long as you learn from the outcome. You're a winner!

Feeling: "I'm really worried about this…."

ACTION: Would my Confidence Role Model worry about this? How would they deal with this situation? What would they do? In the grand scheme of things what will worrying do to this problem? Is there any action I can take to fix this right now?

Feeling: "My friends are really negative thinkers and this just festers onto me when I'm with them"

ACTION: Don't get rid of your friends but make sure you surround yourself with positive, progressive people also. Surround yourself with people who are like your role model.
You know what your friends are like beforehand, so just accept them for what they are. If they are true friends just acknowledge that they are who they are and you are who you are.

Feeling: "I can't do this"

ACTION: Oh yes you can! Break the problem down into bite size chunks and attack each chunk separately. Nothing is ever as daunting as it first seems. How would your Confidence Role Model do this? What would he/she do? Think of a time where you have done something really difficult - think this through in your mind and play it over and over like a video recording before you do the task in hand.

Feeling: "I've never got enough money to do the things that I want"

ACTION: Ask yourself what are you doing about it? Have you always got more month left at the end of the money? Have you got a budget plan? Are you in control of your money? Do you know where it all goes? If you answered no to any or all of those questions - make a plan of action. Who knows, you may need another career to achieve the lifestyle you want?

Feeling: "I don't feel worthwhile as a person"

ACTION: List your strengths down on a piece of paper, list down all of your achievements in life from your exams, to when you passed your driving test, to the jobs that you've had etc. Remind yourself that you've already had loads of successes and don't feel so sorry for yourself. After all, no matter where you are in life, there is always someone who is worse off then yourself. Put things into perspective, ask yourself what your Role Model would do?

More Actions:

Now it's your turn!

Write down all of those confidence destroying sayings that you say to yourself or what others say to you.

Then write down what you are going to replace your thoughts with after it is said.

Remember, no-one can make you feel inferior or bad without your consent!

Write down next to each saying, why it is complete and utter bull!